2010 Blogs
We have all had our own travel nightmares that never seem like they will ever end…when getting from point A to point B is one big maze as we sit passenger seat on the germ missile. So if you wish to hear no more about the lack of control we have when we hand our hundreds of dollars over to airlines day in and day out, read no more. Or if you think the germs will crawl out of the words I write into your eyes, read no more.
This certainly was not my worst travel experience, but the tangents became somewhat comical so I am writing about them. I have also told the story a few times now and it is so longwinded that I worry about the time I waste telling the story to unprepared ears. If you do not have time for long windedness, read no more. My travel began with a bus ride from Table Mesa to the Denver airport. I actually was greeted with one of the most friendly people I have dealt with at a United Oversized check-in desk. She smiled as she cheerily asked me “…and how would you like us to rape your bank account today?” I quickly moseyed my way through small security lines and boarded the plane on time – all was well and good…something HAD to go wrong, right? At my gate I pulled out a delicious salad I had prepared that morning with ingredients from the Farmer’s Market and for a brief moment was able to block out the smell of McDonalds and Chili’s To-Go. The flight went by quickly as I watched “In Bruges” and then fell asleep until we landed in Dulles.
Dulles. It seems this is where most delays and cancellations take place. After 1h30 our flight to Burlington was delayed by 10 minutes, then 20 minutes, then 30 minutes, then canceled. It was the final flight of the night to Burlington so we knew we’d be in DC for the night unless we decided to trek 11 hours in a rental car or taxi. Fortunately it was a flight to Burlington, VT so people were actually sociable and friendly and cheery. As I walked toward Customer Service I began talking to a woman with a guitar on her back. She needed to be in Burlington tomorrow morning to play a gig so she was weighing the idea of an insanely expensive overnight cab ride. As the Vermonters waited in line the hippies in us came out – “Hey United, what about renting us a bus or a van so we can all drive together? That’d save you a lot of money and the rest of us can toke up!”
Of course all the customer service representatives had English as a second or fifth language, and most of us were used to the accents of either Canadians or toothless Americans, so there was a lot of loud repeating going on. Eventually I was booked on two flights, both swapped to US Airways, leaving from Reagan Airport instead of Dulles the following day. One was a 6am departure, the other an 11am. So I asked, “Can I just have the 6am departure?”
“This way, in case you sleep past your alarm you’ll have the back-up option. I’ll check you in for the 11am”
“No, no, I want to get to Burlington, I’ll be on the 6am. Please check me in for the 6am.”
“I can’t check you in for the 6am, I can only check you in for the 11am.”
“Right…ok…so does that mean I have a ticket for the 6am or not?”
“I dunno. It won’t let me check you. Just go there for the 6am and if you don’t have a ticket you’ll have the 11am. Here’s a voucher for the hotel, a taxi to the hotel, and a meal voucher. Good bye.”
“Fantastic. Thank you SO much for your help and clarity.”
It was 11pm and I was knackered. I grabbed the cab and sat in front – told the cab driver I had never been to DC and was stoked to see it through my blood shot sleepy eyes. I was asleep before we were out of the airport drive. However, he was nice enough to wake me to point out the Pentagon and Lincoln Memorial. It was right about then that I remembered I had completely forgot to pick up my bags at the baggage claim in Dulles. Tomorrow I would be flying a different airline from a different airport…hmm…deal with it when I can think and see straight? It was a 50-minute cab drive from Dulles to the Double Tree Hotel near Reagan. Did you know the Double Tree gives you a warm chocolate chip cookie upon check-in!? It almost made the cancellation worth it. Almost. Except for the fact that I knew my dad had made amaaaazin’ gluten free brownies which are like morsels of chocolate heaven baked into a 9x11 pan. At 12:30 I was in bed with an alarm set for 4:10am so I could be at the airport shuttle by 4:25am. All smooth until…
Just before 5 I tried to check in to the electronic ticket counter to no avail. Uh-oh. Stepped up to the US Airways ticket counter and he quickly printed out my boarding pass. Sweet, I took it and 10 steps toward the security area before looking at the ticket and seeing it was for the 11am flight. Gawh. Walked backwards and found the same ticket agent and attempted, with my non-caffeinated brain to formulate the words to describe the confusion from last night. Stood there for a while waiting until he said, “So you’re checked into the 11am flight so we cannot issue the 6am ticket until you’re checked out of the 11am. But we cannot check you out of the 11am. You’ll have to go see United for that.”
To my dismay United had quite a line and so I waited. One of the most persnickety ticket agents ‘greeted’ me, scoffed at my situation and clicked around on his computer screen before saying “Nope, we can’t do that – it’s entirely on US Airways now. They’re just going to need to figure out a way to cancel you on the later flight. Sorry and good-bye.”
So I ran back over to US Airways and told them that reply. Finally, somehow, I had a ticket from Reagan to Laguardia. Laguardia to Burlington was another obstacle they told me I’d have to cross in my next 45-minute stop. With 20 minutes I made it through security and a bag search, and even had time to stop at a food cart to use my meal voucher. I grabbed a yogurt and a fruit cup, opened the fruit cup on the plane to see moldy fruit. I had to pee but the flight was too short and bumpy for the seat belt light to go off so I held it. And once I got off the plane I had to pee even more but I was nervous about my ticket so I concentrated on the task at hand. Finally to the gate I handed the agent my ‘ticket’. “You have a seat on the plane but no ticket. I need an e-ticket from you.”
“This is all I have.”
“You don’t have anything else?”
“This is all I have.”
“Go to Special Services and see if they can get you a ticket”
I ran the 400m to Special Services and handed my seat ticket to her and asked for a real ticket. After the conversation above verbatim she handed me a ticket. “Here’s your ticket, but you don’t have a seat on the plane. You need to go back to the gate to get your seat.” Fantastic. Another brisk 400m jog back to my bud at the gate and I handed her my ticket and asked for a seat. With my legs crossed I was the last person to waddle onto the puddle jumper.
Burlington! Yet the saga continues as I try to find my baggage. A friendly ticket agent again! Because people are actually nice in Vermont. This process was efficient as I scribbled in the info for the missing bags and she informed me they would arrive as early as 12 and no later than 2 and would be delivered to the address provided. At 5pm I called in to United.
“Ma’am, because you flew in on US Airways it is US Airway’s responsibility.”
“No, no, the bags never touched a US Airways flight. They were on a United flight from Dulles to Burlington.”
“Yes, but because you arrived on a US Airways flight it is their responsibility. You will need to call US Airways to arrange pick up. Or the tracking number shows they are at the Burlington airport if you wish to pick them up.”
“Wow, thank you SO much for your help.”
“You’re welcome! And before you go, one more thing – United is conducting a survey on how well we’re doing. On a scale for 1 to 5 where do we stand with 1 being the lowest and 5 being highes…”
“ZERO.”
“Oh. Would you care to speak to my manager?”
“No thank you, you all are equally helpful and I do not have time because I need to go pick my bags up.” Click.